I had lunch with a friend about a month ago. We were talking about creating art and the idea of trust came up in our conversation. The truth is, I probably am not great at trust, but boy do I love control.
Trust and control can’t coexist.
If you trust, you don’t have to control.
If you have to control, you don’t trust.
This is true in our art art but also true in life, relationships, and faith.
Trust and control are like dark and night.
Most of us want control and have a desire to trust but, for whatever reason, we don’t realize we can’t have both.
Control is birthed out of pain, fear, insecurity, and the desire to believe we can determine the outcome. It’s an illusion that destroys teams, chemistry, and prevents people from growing and developing into all they can be.
Trust encapsulates freedom, security, belief, and the ability to see others succeed. It takes confidence and the ability to be sure of who we are and who God created us to be. Trust takes time and commitment. It requires conversations and a lot of work. It’s not easy but it is so worth it. Trust allows others to be their best and allows us to become our best.
There’s a very funny thing that happens though when we learn to trust – it creates an environment where control isn’t necessary because goals are defined, teams are empowered, and people are able to do their best work. When we trust art flourishes and we make better stuff.
I think all passionate people wrestle with this tension at one time or another. I am on a mission to learn to trust more and control less. It will change how I get to lead and it will empower those around me to lead better. It’s not their problem, its mine.
Are you trusting or trying to control?